BigOleBackyardBuck
The star of the show. A big mature twelve-point whitetail buck who broke into a hunter's cabin, found the gaming setup, and never left. Confident, opinionated, and a competitive gamer who takes hunting games very personally. He's got grandkids, an ex who left him for a ten-point, and a complicated relationship with November. His signature move: freezing mid-sentence, staring off into the distance, and whispering "...are those headlights?"
The Bear
The buck's best friend and the calm to his chaos. Laid-back, always has a comeback, and will absolutely roast you while barely raising his voice. Claims he could take the buck in a fight. The buck disagrees. This argument never ends.
The Wolf
Cool, calculating, and uncomfortably direct. A predator sitting in a cabin full of prey animals — and everyone knows it. Doesn't make threats. Just says things that sound like threats. "You smell like fear." "That's cologne." Plays horror games without flinching because, in his words, "I AM the thing in the dark."
The Old Billy Goat
The buck's dad. Has never seen a video game before. Genuinely amazed by everything. "That's OUTSIDE?! That looks like outside!" Doesn't understand webcam distance. Will sue if they put goats in a hunting game.
Becky
Big southern charm, warm heart, zero tolerance for bad farming. Watches the buck play Farming Simulator and critiques everything — the milking mechanics, the tractor driving, the crop rotation. Her daddy was a bull, and she will correct you on that. "Honey, that ain't farming."
The Hound
Loyal, excitable, not-too-bright. Looks exactly like Trigger, the hunting dog from Call of the Wild — and he is VERY aware of this. Gets emotionally attached to the in-game dog. Easily distracted by smells. "Subscribe. Or don't. I'll love you either way. I'm a dog."
The Ram
A gentle soul with big curling horns and even bigger feelings. Deeply, irrationally attached to the sheep in Minecraft. He names them. He mourns them. "He had a name. In my heart. His name was Gerald." Has strong opinions about fence quality. Could break one in two headbutts.